What is love? Good question! There will be volumes written and have been tons of volumes written on "What is love?" Everyone has a different answer at different times in their lives, so how do you really definitively define LOVE when there are so many different kinds of love?
Soft lights, gentle ballads, a little poetry, candles, tingly feelings, anticipation, touchy feely not yet love. Romantic love falls between filial and physical love. It most certainly is physical, but the waiting for deeper feelings towards each other, the learning about both of you, the flirting and skirting around real contact as yet, can be a powerful aphrodisiac. Careful avoidance of too quick a physical encounter, can intensify the need to know more about each other, what turns you on , what sets your teeth grinding, what you absolutely love or hate about romantic occasions. You want to be slow and tender and kind and teasing, leading up to an enhanced sense of each other and your sexual desire for each other. So go slow, say a prayer, (God wrote a few books on sexual love, you know!) light some sensual candles, soft music and pay a lot of attention to your partner, take your lead from his or her responses. Drive yourselves little nuts, go slow, let the feelings grow and grow till WOW! Enjoy!
Possessions love is an overpowering desire and affection for physical possessions. In today's society, this seems to be the driving force love. Everyone needs more things to love; things such as the newest, sexiest, or biggest, most powerful car." I love my new car, It really rocks1'I love my new breasts, they are so big and beautiful, and firm"." I love our new house; I want all kinds of beautiful furniture and what- knots and thing- a- ma-jigs so that it will be the most beautiful house in the neighborhood"." I love my season sports tickets, best seats in the nose bleed section" I love my new hair-do, it makes me look so much younger" I don't want to play with my friends, I love my I-Pod, my WII, my computer, my games, I hope I get new games and toys for Christmas so I do not have to bother with friends" (This is not necessarily just children speaking here, a lot of adults are hooked on electronic love objects also.)
You got the idea! Nothing wrong with new things, nice things, big, firm, powerful things, fun things! Unfortunately, sometimes too much of our attention and affection are riveted on these things and we forget the people we should be lavishing all this emotion on.
Sometimes we spend so much time on things and hobbies and sports and recreation, we do not have time to smell the roses and touch the people around us. Like most loves, this one too, needs discipline and direction and sometimes, just saying enough, no more for now!
Puppy love is the sweetest, purest of human love. Puppy love is that first stirring of a romantic feeling of love, all that innocence, embarrassment, shyness, and naivety of such a feeling for another person. It could be a boy or girl, a teacher, coach, some adult who has shown kind attention to you. You never know who or why or how long it will last. If the object of this affection learns of this love, it is totally devastating to the giver of this love, heartbreakingly embarrassing! And were that love returned you would want to vanish into another world forever!
This is a personal, private, secret love, to be hidden, buried and always remembered!
Only when you really love just a little puppy can this love be acknowledged!
Jealous Love: NO GOOD! Get rid of it:
You cannot control other persons' feelings or emotions, so why waste time, love, emotion, and mental health being jealous of the one or thing you love. If you really love them you cannot be jealous, because you would want the best for that person, and the hurtful emotion that jealousy is would destroy that. It would make you suspicious, mean distrustful, and nasty. So let go of your jealousy, or let go of the person or thing you are jealous of, you will only lose them anyway. No one can deal or live with a jealous person peacefully or happily, it is a person destroyer and for sure, it destroys true love.
Lustful love is an abomination posing as love. This is a foul obsessive emotion, not any way related to love. It is the overpowering need for the sexual control of a person you are strongly attracted to physically, and has nothing to do with "loving" or "desiring" them, just enjoying the sexuality of the person, with no regard to their humanity or personal and emotional well being. The object of this kind of love should run like a greyhound for safe ground from this kind of degradation.
Hardest love of ALL! How do we determine how to love ourselves, and what kind of love should we lavish on our selves? Have you the answer? I do not! I have a few reflections, but no answers.
God tells us to love ourselves as He loves us! But not being Him, I find that most hard to do, most of the time. I think, mostly, we underrate ourselves and beat ourselves up for not being as lovable as we would like.
It is true that it is very hard to really love someone if you do not have some modicum of love for yourself. I think we need to love ourselves because GOD granted us that right, but we cannot be arrogant, or selfish about it. We need to love ourselves as GOD loves us, in spite of our frailties, but aware and working on improvements of the unlovable things in us. It needs to be a modest love, forsaking self love for love of others, when they need it more than we do (love that is). It is never to be an all consuming love, for then you think of yourself as your own god and ruler, and forsake all others. I know that is a bad simplification of self love, but it is hard to brag that you love yourself, and even harder to say you do not love yourself. I think we just need to ask God to show us how to love ourselves and go from there! Amen!
There are as many kinds of love and as many definitions of love as there are people on this planet. It is a matter of time, place, people, situation, anticipation, and inclination. So lets all just try to love all people as creations of our Father GOD, including ourselves, and work it out as we go along in life!
Physical love loves someone for their body and appearance and sexuality only. This love is probably the most dangerous and deceptive of all loves. It tends to lead to the wrong conclusions as to how to proceed with someone you are only physically attracted to. At first, you think "Oh wow, this is it! I am madly in love with this person!"
You need to go slow, and really exam your reactions and feelings. If you are not really interested in getting to know this person in depth before becoming involved physically, you are probably on a fast ride to disappointment or disaster. If you just want the roller coaster ride, hang on, because sometimes the coaster do not stop it crashes hard. I know that is incorrect grammar "do not", but so is incorrect sexual encounters, they are both damaging and life destroying. How many bad marriages have ended in divorce, or are?
Very stressful, unhappy, households, because the roller coaster ride slowed to a carousel ride and the horses are old, slow and the veneer is chipped and life is not the thrill? That first exhilarating ride gave you?
Make sure you are attracted and falling in love with the whole person before you buy your ticket to ride!
Agape love is God’s never ending, never lessening, and all encompassing love. God loves us no matter what we do, how bad or good we are, no matter what we are or how we behave. He may not love the way we live, the way we treat each other, our disrespect for Him and others, the sins we commit, all the trashy things in our lives. He just LOVES US!
This is the love we should have for our spouses, our children, and our families, the way we should love GOD! Nothing should ever diminish the love we have for the wives, husbands, children, families; GOD has given us in this life. If we need to correct or discipline our loved ones, as GOD does with us, it should always be with LOVE and tender caring. This love also gives us the responsibility of setting an example as best we can as human beings for those we truly love to follow the ways of a Loving Heavenly Father. The responsibility is also ours to correct and prevent if we can, our loved ones from doing harm to themselves and/or others physically or spiritually.
This also means that when we are wrong we receive correction, with love and thankfulness that someone loves us enough to keep us true.
Filial love is brotherly love toward all humankind. This is a love that overlooks the shortcomings and quirks of our fellow beings and allows us to be kind to one another. This does not mean we tolerate any mistreatment, or evil from them, but that we admonish and correct in, again, a GOD like manner, not to hurt or crush, but to reprove, uplift and set an example as to how we should treat one another.
This brotherly love sees a person's needs, if they are broke, homeless, not enough to eat, or are hurting emotionally and spiritually, or maybe just something simple like a flat tire, or needing change to make a phone call, or buy a soft drink, coffee, tea, whatever. Offer whatever help you are capable of. Did you ever pay a shortage for some one when they did not have enough money to pay their entire bill in a store or restaurant? Always offer a smile and a kind word, especially to the most offensive of people; it does get to them, makes them wonder what you are up to! It may sink in one day, that you are just a loving person trying to make contact through their offensiveness. Offer a compliment to all, a helping hand, and a gentle correction if something is not right in their appearance. Toilet paper stuck on their shoe, slip or bra strap hanging, fly open, or something they are wearing looks really bad. You get the idea. Do it as a courtesy, offer a solution. Be creative, you may be amazed at the wonderful people you will come to know and love, or the interesting encounters you may have with perfect strangers. Love is amazing even in small doses. Brotherly Love is wonderful.
Yes, there will always be volumes written and have been tons of volumes written on "What is love?" But, let's be honest and realistic, one size does not fit all, so? Find the size definition of love that works for you and let the philosophers continue to wax eloquent and like "pi" never find an answer, only an approximation.
Here's to LOVE; may it never die and never lie, never hurt and never be curt, always be faithful and true, and what YOU want it to be!
- Savanah Hindi ©