Signs Its Time To Get A Divorce
Oh happy tears day! The I DO DAY! The day you commit to a life time of love, happiness and romance with the one person you love so completely, you even want to die together!
The first few years, you struggle - making commitments, compromises, and a conscious changing of life styles. You kind of settle into a "marriage" routine. Love making becomes less frequent-maybe a few children create another set of changes in your relationship - you both get too busy with the other responsibilities of your lives. Things begin to slip away-important things! Love making becomes infrequent and functional rather than intimate, romantic and fulfilling. Jobs, children, friends, hobbies, sporting events, even the dog is more important than your spouse!
Fighting and spats becomes the main source of communication. You complain to anyone who will listen, even the plumber! about your spouse and your yucky intimate life. You used to run, with joy and excitement, to greet your love-now you stiffen and shut down when they are near. You feel invaded and sick if any move of intimacy is made towards you, you turn your cheek if a kiss is offered.
Nothing is ever done right by either of you; words are always taken the wrong way. You find excuses and any outside activity to avoid being alone together. If you are still sleeping in the same bed, you go to bed at a different time and turn your back to your mate with no "I love you", before sleep, probably not even a "good night", or "God bless and keep you through the night."
You no longer remember how the love felt, or the romance you created when you first started on your journey together. Maybe you try the Priest, Pastor, counselor, and all you do is tear each other down and blame each other for all the wrongs in your life. If there are children, you use them as weapons and shields in your constant irritation with each other. Needless to say you can easily see the effect of your lifestyle on their lives and happiness. Shame Shame!
What happened? When did you stop paying attention, when did you stop caring, when did love grow to indifference and anger with each other? Maybe one or both of you are looking elsewhere for a romantic love affair filled with romance and tenderness? Not a good or healthy place to go, a real heart breaker!
So Sad! So unnecessary, but unfortunately, this is the most common recipe for disaster - DIVORCE!
PLEASE DON'T GO THERE! At the first signs of boredom or love that is cooling - WAKE UP! Get help, cling to each other, respect each other and the feelings of your mate-love changes with life and aging, but it is still love, do not nurture the bad feelings and irritations - weed them out, fertilize the good things the kind loving things - grow with your love, don't kill it! Rekindle the fire of those romantic moments with romance and intimacy. Enjoy and nurture the changing attitudes you have as your love constantly changes and as you deal with all the disasters that can occur in a lifetime together, relish and exaggerate the good things, the funny things, the loving attitudes, etc.
If you cannot sustain your love and relationship, please divorce kindly, remember the one you loved and have respect for each other and your family. Go through this terrible time with dignity and prayer and let each other go with peace and caring! There is no other choice, if you wish to have future happiness and peace with yourself. Bitterness and hatred and anger do not die easily, they smolder and burn you up from the inside and take others around you into a gray bitter life. You started with love and high hopes, and end with respect and good wishes!
Watch over your marriage and family carefully, for it is your greatest treasure and your treasure is where your heart is. Feed your love life - do not starve it or ignore it, for it is a delicate flower. Be an attentive gardener.
God Bless all marriages, and God help all avoid divorce. Divorce hurts everyone!
- Savanah Hindi ©