A love letter to the love of my life from the heart:
"They" say there is no such thing as LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT! Who are "they"? I have never met "they", "they" have no other names but "they". Why are "they" considered such experts, when there are no faces or names, just "they"! "They" do not know what" they" are missing! Who needs opinions of "they" that do not exist, except in opinion polls!
Were "they" there the day you walked in to my work place? All you wanted was a cup of coffee with light cream. You got your coffee, my heart, and my undying love. Why? You were not handsome, just a big bull of a very masculine man, with a craggy face, nice, strong mouth, square chin, bright blue hooded eyes and sandy brown nondescript hair. Big burly chest, six feet tall, beautiful hands, the strong silent type. The whole package swept me off my feet! You knocked my world right out of orbit.
I did not think you really even noticed me! We exchanged the usual waitress, customer small talk; you drank your coffee, paid, tipped me and left. Boy! Was that the emptiest place in the world when that door closed?
I learned you were a regular, you owned the business right next door! I had just started the job and did not know the routine or customers yet. I discretely asked about you. (HAH! Everyone knew exactly how I felt; I wore it on my face and in my voice!)
I learned your name was Timothy and horror of horrors; you were "Married with Children!" Oh, broken heart stop hurting, leave me alone!
I had to learn to keep it casual, not to jump every time you came in, which was often through the day! I needed the job, but I seriously thought about quitting, but I could not bear not being in your world! I stayed and suffered not so gracefully.
Then, one day, your wife came in with you! She was exquisitely dressed, and knock out pretty, well built woman. She was so vivacious and vibrant; no way could I ever compete with that, even if I had a thought of doing so!
One night I went to go home and I had a flat tire. I had no jack, so I went back into work to get help, and there you sat, my heart really skipped a beat. I said I had a flat and you were my knight with the shiny jack! You changed my tire, I thanked you, and oh my, you asked me to have a drink with you! I know I should have said no, but I could not, just a quick drink and then, goodbye!
We had our drink and you told me your wife had left you and your children, and moved to California. All you really wanted, at that time was someone to talk to, and so, I listened. We parted and I went home feeling so sad for you.
Time passed, then, you asked me to dinner. Oh glory of glories; I was going on a date with you! It was wonderful, a beautiful restaurant, a fine meal, anddancing. I almost fainted in your arms, on the dance floor! You took me home, no kiss goodnight just a hug and handshake. It was wonderful; I was floating on air with love for days!
Time passed, we (for YOU) casually dated, never even kissed goodnight! We were just good friends. (YAH sure, that is just what I wanted, YOU as a friend, I am dying here with passion! HELP ME!)
Finally, you divorced your wife, and you were busy settling your kids down to life alone. We got together occasionally; I was working three jobs, so time together was short and precious.
Then, one wondrous night, we went on a real date. It was divine and it ended in a beautiful romantic night of love and passion. I had no idea you felt that way about me, I knew what I FELT!
A week later, you told me you were in love with me, and asked me to move in with you and be a family! My hearts desire, my heart almost burst with love!
We had an interesting challenging, passionate life. Life wasn’t easy. Merging ourselves was difficult, but never boring.
Then, one night you left me! Oh the pain, the sorrow, the loneliness! We were lying in bed talking, you had not been feeling good, and wanted to just lay and talk. I got up to go to the bathroom, heard two grunts coming from you, and rushed in to see you turning blue! I did mouth to mouth, beat on your chest to revive your heart, praying you would wake up and bop me for pounding on you! You did not. I called an ambulance, and 24 hours later, in a hospital room, hooked to a respirator, filled with family and friends, love of my life, you left me! This was not unexpected, certainly not wanted, but there were 25 years difference between us in our ages.
A month later, you came to visit me! You walked through the living room, looked at me, your loving eyes saying goodbye, (we had not been able to say our goodbyes when you were in hospital. I said goodbye, and you never woke again) you turned and disappeared. I know it was you and not a night vision! Our poodles, Jewely and Mickey, danced around you with joy at seeing you. They barked and pranced, then whined sadly when you disappeared! The dogs were my witness. The memory will forever be imprinted in my heart and memory!
You still visit me in my dreams, you are always in a different place and I have to look for you. Then when I find you, you look at me with love and disappear again.
I look forward to these visits, I do not mourn you. I just still love and remember you. I know that one day we will continue our love's journey again, I long for it beloved.
Until then, LOVE OF MY LIFE, MY PASSIONATE LOVER, I encapsulate you in my heart and my memory and my dreams with love!
Your ardent lover,
- Savanah Hindi ©