How To Tell If You're a Chataholic
Are You a Chataholic?

How To Tell If You're a Chataholic

How To Tell If You're a Chataholic

Have you ever said this to someone?
"I'm just gettin' on for a MINUTE"
I got up this morning, but haven't yet dressed.
My dishes aren't done, and my house is a mess.
Have not done my work, have not fed the cat,
Just on line for a second, and popped in to "chat".

I used to watch TV, I used to cook Mex,
I think I remember...yeah, I used to have S...EX!
I used to walk upright, now roll on my chair,
Tho' it causes the neighborhood children to stare.

I wanted to travel around on the Net,
Been too busy chatting to get on there yet.
I wanted to spreadsheet, word process, or paint,
But gettin' on with them is just what I ain't!

So much to learn and I wanted to but
I'm too busy chatting and splitting a gut,
Talkin' and listenin' it such a sin?
Oh, gawd, what a fix I have got myself in!

Then up pops a name on my neat Buddy List,
Think I'll go out and give HIS tail a twist!
And in comes an IM from some weirdo guy
I cuss 'im, insult 'im, and tell him "bye bye".

Is there a 12 step, support group, or such?
For those of us folks who chat on too much?
If there was a group, I would like it just fine,
Except that it prob'ly would be here online!

Are there therapists here? I think that I saw some
Its got me, its got me, its power is AWESOME.
It's my new computer, I've had it one week,
Now I look in the mirror and I see a "geek".

Or maybe a geekess, but I see the signs,
Please help me, please help me, please get me offline!
Or better, please Email a burger and fries
Cause I'm Stayin on Line at least Till I Die.
- Unknown

Are You a Chataholic?

1. Instead of laughing at a joke you say LOL.
2. On your e-mail address book you have more chat nicknames than actual names.
3. When you meet new people in real life one of the first things you ask them is their age and s...ex.
4. You dump your actual boyfriend for a guy you meet online.
5. When people ask your name you give them your chat nickname instead of your real name.
6. When you write you spell "you" as "u" "thanks" as "thanx", and so on.
7. When you leave a room you say "brb".
8. Instead of waiting by the telephone you wait by the ICQ.
9. You haven't noticed that pay phone charges have gone from 10 cents to 35 cents.
10. When you finally log off it is Monday...You signed on Sunday afternoon.
- Unknown

Happily Addicted to the Web
Sung to the tune of "Winter Wonderland"

Doorbell rings, I'm not list'nin',
From my mouth, drool is glist'nin',
I'm happy... although
My boss let me go...
Happily addicted to the Web.
All night long, I sit clicking,
Unaware time is ticking,
There's beard on my cheek,
Same clothes for a week,
Happily addicted to the Web.
Friends come by; they shake me,
Saying, "Yo, man!
Don't you know tonight's the senior prom?"
With a listless shrug, I mutter, "No, man;
I just discovered letterman-dot-com!"

I don't phone, don't send faxes,
Don't go out, don't pay taxes,
Who cares if someday
They drag me away?
I'm happily addicted to the Web!


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How To Tell If You're a Chataholic

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